Cooks Anonymous

Hi, my name is Angela and I just figured out how to cook rice at age 40.


Yes, the simple "one cup rice, two cups water, simmer covered for 20 minutes, voila perfectly fluffy rice."  I just gained confidence in doing this.  I have no idea why I have feared cooking rice so long.  Fear of burning or crunchiness maybe.
I could never remember the ratios (I realize how stupid that sounds).  It's like I had rice dyslexia.  I own a rice cooker, but that always produces an overcooked layer on the bottom.  Deliciously crunchy but not what I want on a regular basis.
This is a dumb post ... but I am proud of the fact that I managed to cook a perfect pot of rice without looking up instructions.  I will now slink off in embarrassment.

ALB

Why I Will Not Phone in Antibiotics

Dear Parent on the other end of the phone,


I am so sorry that your child is not feeling well and you are leaving on vacation tomorrow/out of town/can't afford another copayment/sick of coming in to the office.  I realize that having a miserable/feverish child makes your life hard and makes you feel stressed.  I know that you are sure the ear pain/sore throat/pain with peeing must be an ear infection/case of strep/urinary tract infection.  And I know you are very unhappy that I will not phone in a prescription for antibiotics for you.

Unfortunately not ever fever and ear pain is an ear infection - many of these kids have normal looking and functioning ear drums when I examine them in the office.  Most of the sore throats we see do not test positive for strep.  Most of the pain with peeing in young children is not a urinary tract infection.

I will not prescribe an antibiotic "just in case".  This makes your child more likely to have bacteria that are resistant to the antibiotics that we commonly use to treat infections.  And what if your child has a reaction to the medication?  Aside from a bad allergy, getting diarrhea or a yeast infection or a rash is still not a pleasant thing from a medication your child didn't need in the first place.

There is also the possibility that your child really has a bacterial infection and needs an antibiotic - it just isn't the infection you think.  What if that ear pain is a swimmers ear rather than a middle ear infection?  What if the ear pain is caused by a strep throat infection?  What if that pain with urination in your teen is a sexually transmitted infection, not a urinary tract infection?  I can only tell by talking to and examining the child.

I am sorry that your employer has contracted for a high co-payment insurance plan, or your insurance company doesn't cover out-of-area care.  I am happy to speak to you and problem solve, to suggest over the counter medications and other ways to make your child feel better.  I will even advocate for you with your insurance company the best I can.  But I will not phone in antibiotics.

I am used to the anger, the pleading, the threats to file a complaint.  I will try hard to be patient when I talk to you on the phone.  But I will not compromise my standards of giving your child the highest quality medical care I can provide.   If that means I need to examine your child to determine the best course of treatment then I will let you know that.  And I won't back down.

Sincerely,
Dr. Beeler


ALB

It takes time...

You know how I wrote that post about how the body heals itself?  And how miserable the radiation treatment's were?  Well, the treatments are all done for 2 months and the recovery is happening.  S-l-o-w-l-y.  He is talking well (I think).  Able to drink some by mouth and swallow medications rather than having to use the PEG tube for everything.  Walking without pain or walker.

As a physician I knew that progressive illnesses take a decline-plateau-decline-plateau pattern as they worsen.  I hadn't considered that healing takes the same pattern but in reverse: improve-plateau-improve-plateau.  But that is what is happening.  The improvement is great.  The plateau is freaky because it makes you wonder, "Is this it?  Is this as good as it gets??"

Statistics I have read say that only half of people feel back to normal 6 months after they end radiation and chemo.  This is reassuring since Brian is only 2 months out from treatment.  We will continue to watch and see how long the healing takes.

ALB

Motherhood

It wasn't until having children of my own that I realized I had been a Mom all along.


My oldest child is now eleven.  Reflecting on all the things I do for her, and my twins, that are considered "motherly duties", I realize these are things I have been doing for other people since I have been able.


A mother listens to others, even when what they say is ridiculous.  She corrects when appropriate.
A mother sacrifices her own desires to meet the needs, physical or emotional, of others.
A mother loves unconditionally.  She may be saddened by the actions of others, but she loves all the same.
A mother teaches.  She shares her knowledge, her enthusiasm and her determination to learn.
A mother cries for the pain of others.  And then she gets up and keeps going.


As women we bear the title of mother before we are even born.  Sometimes we refer to it as being a sister, a friend, a companion, a mentor, a servant.  All of this really just means being a mother.


To all the woman in my life who have been mothers to me - my physical mother, my sister, my friends, my teachers - thank you for the mothering you have given me.
To all the people in my life who are children to me - my biological children, my Primary children, my students, my friends, my family - thank you for your patience as I learn how to be a mother.


I do believe that the most meaningful name I can be called is Mother.


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I had been thinking about how much my motherhood means to me for a long time and really wanted to share that.  I am dissatisfied with how stiff and preachy this came out.  Because that is not how my motherhood feels!  It is warm and squishy (hmmmm, like me) and joyful.  So here are the mother moments I enjoy outside the confines of my own family:


-Primary children running up to hug me or tell me something, but also just grabbing a primary kid to give them a hug and a kiss.
-That I can now name all 60 of my Primary kids by sight!
-The fabulous, random things that kids tell me in the office.
-Giving advice to parents - makes me feel like a wise Abuela!
-Talking to my friends about what they have accomplished.
-Having my students tell me of their questions and concerns.
-Bearing testimony with my sister on the phone.
-Loving people without having to judge them or "fix" them.  What a relief!
-Cleaning up in the kitchen after activities, laughing and chatting with others.  (Half a gigantic cake with Oprah on it?  Whaaaaaahhhh?!!!)  Or even cleaning up without other people sometimes.
-Smiling at people randomly, just to let them know I see them.


Life is good.  To be a nurturer is good.


And when I say "confines of my own family" I of course mean that in the nicest way possible...


ALB

An Easter Post - Of bunnies and children and eternity

Yesterday I (or rather the Primary) put on a big brunch and Easter egg hunt for the ward.  It was great - 50 kids showed up with their families.  Everyone said it was a wonderful time.  The kids were writhing with excitement all through the brunch.  Peeking around the barriers to try to spy eggs as the rain prevented an outside hunt.  Then reveling in the finding of candy filled eggs.  Still, I feel a tug of guilt about making an official activity commemorating the most important religious event ever such a heathen activity.
(On a separate note, it is a fairly easy and quick activity - eat, quick egg hunt, clean up all done in under 2 hours.  Get in, party, get out.  I consider that a successful activity.)

I felt that I had to apologetically promise the parents that our Sunday lesson in Primary would be spiritual.  I promise, Bishop, I promise, parents - the children of this ward do know the true reason we celebrate Easter!  And tomorrow they will remember once more!

Today for sharing time I brought a big box with a bow on it and discussed the gifts our Heavenly Father has given us.  I told them the story of their lives.  How excited they were in Heaven to come to Earth and get a body (remember that next time you stub your toe).  I reminded them that when Jesus was born they were part of the "multitude of the heavenly host" (Luke 2:13) who sang for joy.  But this moment was just the beginning.  Like that moment you hold your breath because you know something good is coming - it has begun.

We reviewed the final evening of Christ's life, how he suffered in Gethsemane for the sins of everyone who ever has or will live.  He bled because I told lies and I was mean to other people.  How he was crucified and we all were part of the heavens that wept.

And then I told them that the happiest, most excited day of their whole existence happened before they were born, but when they feel excited about the story of Jesus they are remembering it.  How they heavens shouted for joy as Christ left the tomb - it is accomplished!  Physical and spiritual death are conquered, the way is prepared for all people to return to Heaven.  This was the moment we had held our breath for and it happened!

The best gift we have ever been given is an empty tomb.  (John 3:16)
Happy Easter!

ALB

Politics and Religion

I suspect I am a socialist.

The more I read the scriptures, the more I am struck that every time people were most devoted to living the Gospel of Jesus Christ, "there were no poor among them." (Moses 7:18)  In the book of Acts it describes how the saints sold their possessions and gave all they had to the church.  Or apparently were struck dead if they didn't.  (Acts 5:1-11)  Certainly the United Order asked similar things of the saints in these latter-days. (D&C 78:3-7)  Though I don't think death was on the line.  OK, spiritual death was on the line but not physical death.  The Nephites, after the resurrected Christ established this church among them, "had all things common among them."  (4 Nephi 1:2-3)
While the Nephites at the time of King Benjamin don't appear to be living the law of consecration, Mosiah 4:16-26 is a very powerful sermon on giving to those in need.

Given that the ideal society, in the eyes of God, involves us taking care of each other so that there are no poor, what is wrong with having a system of government that has that as its goal?


Some people say that the difference is in agency.  When the Lord asks you to do it you are free to say no.  When the government asks you to do it you are not so free to refuse.  But what if we use our agency to vote for a government that has taking care of the poor and needy as it's goal?  Many people live, quite happily, in socialist systems for which they have voted.  They are not evil and socialism is not evil.  I might even argue that if our goal is to produce a government that will be similar to what things will be like in the millennium then they are further along than we.

Go ahead, tell me that if I like socialism so much maybe I should leave America and move to a socialist country.  Tempting, very tempting.  Instead I will stay here to defend those who think government should be used to better the lives of it's people and be a safety net to get them back on their feet when they stumble.
I do not advocate lifetime government support and I do feel people need a path to success.  Don't get me started on how a system of education that allows 30% of it's children to enter adulthood without a high school diploma is dysfunctional!

OK, so I'm a socialist.  Though the more I think about it, the more I suspect I may be a communist libertarian.

His Radiation Was Worse Than Yours - My Whiny Post

I will try to keep my whiny venting brief.

When people find out that Brian is having radiation for cancer treatment, they sometimes share a personal or family story of radiation.  I understand the desire to share, to bond, to help us know we aren't alone, others have tread this way before.  Having watched Brian go through the side of effects of radiation to his lower jaw and neck, I feel irritated when people tell me how a loved one worked every day through it, or how it wasn't that bad.  Getting your breast or prostate irradiated is lousy, I'm sure.  Getting your mouth and neck irradiated is horrendous.

The radiation damage in the mouth and neck causes swelling and pain that begins a couple weeks in.  Over time the lining of the mouth begins to ulcerate.  The muscles of the jaw and neck become inflamed.  Every movement of the mouth to speak or chew causes pain.  Every bit of food into the mouth causes pain.  Every swallow of anything causes pain.  And the radiation damages the nerves of the tongue, causing loss of taste.

Brian loves to talk and Brian loves to cook and eat.  Radiation took both away.  He lays in bed exhausted and silent with the whir of the feeding pump in the back ground.  All I can do is look on and keep his medications renewed.

So forgive me if I am not uplifted by your story of radiation treatments being bad but manageable.  Here they are horrible.  But like everyone else, we will get through this too.

Rant off.