There with the Grace of God

This week I will write about the little-g grace of God.  The little ways he blesses our lives.

A year or so ago a speaker at the LDS church's general conference told a story of biking home to work and praying to find a quarter so he could buy himself a piece of chicken.  He wasn't starving, had food in his home, but he had a long, hard day at work and thought a piece of chicken would make him a happier person for his family when he got home.  And just as he got to the chicken store he found a quarter on the side walk and was able to buy himself a piece of fried chicken.

When I heard this story I thought, "What???  That is just weird.  Are we really being encouraged to pray for stuff we don't need just because it will make us happy?"  The more I thought about it over the weeks ahead, the more I began to see the hand of God in my life in small, seemingly insignificant things.

The meeting that got canceled and I was able to make a night out with friends that I thought I would miss.    The parking spot in the convenient garage where I always look but there is never a spot.  Free tickets to a baseball game so I can treat my kids to something fun.  Finding those cool pens I thought I lost.  All green lights when I'm late to pick someone up.
The transmission in my van dying so I had to buy a new van and this one seats 8 passengers just before I was called into the YW presidency and will have to start driving lots of youth to events ... OK, I haven't decided if that is a blessing or just a forced preparation.

Most of the time I call it luck, or karma  or statistical anomalies.  But sometimes, when I look in my heart, I feel the love of God telling me that it was a little blessing to show he loves and cares for me.

There but for the Grace of God

If you are coming to this post to read a story of someone's misfortune that I avoided, and get some schadenfreude,  turn away now.  This isn't that kind of post.

This is about big-G Grace.  I was talking to my friend yesterday, and she commented on how hard it is for people in the LDS church to believe that we are saved by grace.  Focusing on the "after all we can do", they drive themselves crazy with trying to be the best person so they are worthy of salvation.

You will never be worthy of salvation by yourself.  Stop beating yourself up over it.  Because it is only through the Grace of God that you can be saved.  He asks for one thing from us, a broken heart and a contrite spirit.  As I explain to the Primary kids - all you have to do is say you are sorry every time you don't do what you are supposed to and really mean it and God will forgive you.
Christ took your sins upon himself already.  With Christ by your side you are already perfect.  Without Christ by your side you will never be perfect.

Will you continue to sin?  Of course.  Guess what - God knows that already.  You don't get to repent just once, you can repent as much as you need to.  And every time you repent your sins are washed clean.

Heavenly Father loves you.  Romans 8:38-39  Take a big breath, step back to the simple faith of a little child and trust in the Grace of God.

If you want to read a fabulous book about this subject, I highly recommend:

Believing Christ the Parable of the Bicycle and Other Good News by Stephen E Robinson Permalink: http://amzn.com/0875796346

And I'm Back...

It's been a while since I've added to this blog.  Life got busy.  I got serious about our "screen free Sunday" policy in the house.  Which meant no more blogging on Sunday.  Which rule I am now breaking.  Gotta figure out a way to explain to the kids that blogging is OK but not video games.  Maybe I shall call it "public journaling"...

But someone read a post and left a nice comment.  It made me feel good to think that I could maybe uplift someone.  The whole point of this blog is to share my thoughts in case they can be helpful to someone else.
And now I have some more things to share.
On with the blog.

I Told Your Child How Babies Are Made

14 years and I finally had someone who wanted to know.

When I am seeing early adolescents for well child visits I frequently start my discussion about sexuality with the question, "Have your parents told you where babies come from?"  Most laugh a little and say they already know and we move on to deeper discussions of the topic.  Every few months a patient will tell me that they haven't learned about it yet.  So I ask if they want to know.  For the first time I had someone who said yes.

I told the adolescent about the fact that babies are made from genetic material from each parent.  (I used basic medical terminology that I won't repeat here because I don't want this page to get flagged as inappropriate content.)  And then I gave a brief description of the basic way the genetic material from the father gets to the genetic material from the mother.  The patient said, "Oh, that makes sense."  The patient then went on to tell me their erroneous thoughts about what the process entailed - the same things I have heard from other kids whose sole knowledge about the process comes from watching PG13 TV shows.

To the parent, I'm sorry if it upset you.  Though I suspect maybe it is a relief that now you don't have to be the one to have "the talk."  Patient education is one of the things I like about being a primary care doctor.

20 Years

Our 20th wedding anniversary was about a month ago.

Brian will brag to everyone he meets about how we have been married for so long.  Even in the hospital after the surgery he introduce me to every team of doctors who came by and tell them that we had been married for 19 years.  They all nodded with a congratulatory grunt.  One morning a resident on one of the teams was making conversation and asked if there was a secret to getting a marriage to last for 19 years. I said, "You make it work."  The attending stopped them all and said, "Do you here that?"  He reinforced that a good marriage doesn't just happen, it is work and you have to make it work.  I hope the resident's learned something that morning.

Here are the beautiful roses Brian got me for our anniversary, surrounded by the bits of our life.  The Cub Scout rain gutter regatta boat, because that is how I spent the evening of our anniversary.  The thermos from the new school lunchbox, the canning jar for the jam I keep intending to make, the McDonald's bag from the dinner I picked up on the way home from the office.  The books and toys of the day.  The actual trappings of family life after 20 years of marriage.

Thank you, Brian, for 20 years.  Kisses.

Seriously, It Takes Time

I am learning patience.  Still.

11 months since Brian's cancer diagnosis.  10 months since his surgery.  6 months since the end of his radiation treatments.  He has come a long way.  He can walk on the treadmill again and drink liquids.  Haven't used the tube feeds for a long time.  Things are much better than they were, and yet things still seem a long way from where they used to be.

Is this the new normal?  A constant question, how much better will things get?  I feel deep down that he will continue to improve and still has lots of improvement potential.  Yet I realize that he may never be back to the same energy level he was before all this started.   So I continue to take life one day at a time.  People ask, "What are your plans for vacation?" and I just shrug and say, "Depends on how Brian is feeling."  I plan but I am emotionally prepared to change at a moments notice.

I guess that is the gift this whole experience has brought to me.  I am not wed to the future, I am more comfortable in the ebb and flow of here and now.

My Kids Don't Do Activities

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/08/13/your-money/childrens-activities-no-guarantee-of-later-success.html

I am no Tiger Mom.  My kids are all older elementary school age and I have never signed them up for activities.  The oldest did piano lessons for a couple years until my friend stopped teaching due to family needs.  That's right, no soccer, no dance class, no karate.  Nothing.  No weekend games to get in the schedule.  No recitals to sit through.  And now with this article, I feel even better about myself.  Isn't it great to find something which justifies your world view?

My kids are kids.  They play, they bicker, they spend way too much time on electronics.  They scooter and play with kids in the neighborhood.  My theory is that when they get to middle school they can sign up for school sports and extracurriculars.  Until then I'm not going out of my way to sign them up for stuff.  When they are older they can complain to friends about what a bad Mom I am.  For now I want my schedule to be free to do what we want when, not juggling to fit in our needs around some activity they will declare they hate after I spent a couple hundred dollars.

Hey kid, go outside and play!