What Not to Say

http://www.nytimes.com/2011/06/12/fashion/what-to-say-to-someone-whos-sick-this-life.html

This is a great article in the NYT about what not to say, and what to say, to someone who is seriously ill.  And, I would add, to their family members.  The author went through cancer treatment.  His suggestions are spot on.  All the things I want to say to people but feel too polite to say.

I recall a time when I was in the hospital quite ill and in a lot of pain.  Five days into the hospital stay a newly consulted specialist walked into the room and said, "You look miserable."  I wanted to cry and hug her.  That was what I really wanted to hear, an acknowledgement of how I felt.  If you had asked me how I felt I would have said, "I'm hanging in there."  Which I was.  But it was miserable.  I try to remember as a physician that if I can't do anything else, I can always acknowledge a patient's suffering.  "This is such a miserable experience, I am sorry you have to go through this."

Compassion is the best medicine.